Tuesday, 22 June 2010

Touch tone terrorists have new competition in the crank call business!!

A new comedy genius is in town taking the telephone wind up to new levels of hilarity! The touchtone terrorists have indeed held the top spot in the crank call business with hilarious offerings with a distinctly US feel, but a new contender with a distinctly global/English feel threatens to snatch it away! DJ Steve Penk will have to watch his step too!

CP BAZzZMAN is one of the worlds most prolific creative producers.
He has been hugely succesful globaly with his crazy mobile content including ringtones, graphics, videos, music and much more but these days he can be found broadcasting his unique brand of wit and quirkiness from a radio station in North Yorkshire called Drystone radio!

This job was the chance for BAZzZMAN to indulge in the reality comedy business and so "Telephonic Mayhem" was born!

BAZzZMAN created a range of funny characters and began calling businesses with ridiculous funny complaints and mad scenarios that would ultimately challenge their perception and customer service standards! his characters include;

Sir Charles Babblemore: Sir Charles lives in Fortnham Lodge in Embsay and is an arrogant, upperclass sexist insulting serial complainer who has a wife that gets herself into stupid situations, and has a mad old major living in his mansion. Sir Charles rings companies with absolutely unbelievable scenarios and the calls are purely convincing when backed up by BAZzZMAN's special sound effects that are triggered through a sampler during the call for realism. When He called Petplanet to complain about his newly fitted horseflap a horse can be heard taking a dump in his lounge during the call! There is also the bizarre wind up where Sir Chalrles calls a trampoline company to ask for advice on how to retrieve his wife from a tree after she went for a bounce to spy on the neighbours!

Adrian Dale: Adrian is a northern English dim wit who calls companies for very basic advice on problems that are easily solvable. The twist with Adrian is that when companies tell him what do do by taking charge of him there is always something they didnt expect to happen that puts them into the crazy situation of accidently killing Adrian's father's prize pet chicken who can be heard clucking away in the background during the phone call! Adrian gets very distraught, as he did the day his dads chicken was electrified when a computer company told him to turn the computer on. ( They didnt know Adrian was washing the computer in the bath at the time) Soon after we then have the very sensible father calling the company back to hold them completely accountable for killing his prize ckicken! How many ways can a chicken die? stay close to Telephonic Mayhem to find out!

Alexander Crumple: Alexander is an urban psycho who drags businesses into dark and crazy situations. Imagine the reaction of the pest control company he called to offer them £3000 to help him with a vermin problem on his land involving" unruly ferrel children" The call descends into deeper and deeper depths of substandard conversation finishing with him actualy opening his window during the call and taking pot shots at three of the little sods as they apparrently absailed off a telephone pole into his property! Alexander is creepy, distasteful and completely nuts! His situations are extremely funny and guaranteed to make you laugh!

Walter Cottingley: Walter is a 102 yr old viagra overdose looking for a curvy 87 yr old to spend his remaining days with! He is your stereotypical dirty old man! His manner gives female customer services a real challenge as they struggle to remain very respectable to a very old man but try to contain his obvious inappropriate behaviour! During calls special sound effects on the sampler gives the impression of him coughing up tumours which he spits into a metal bowl making a loud clang noise! Walter also has a very creepy laugh that has you immediately turned off to his hidden agenda of sexual shinanigens ! Walter also usually has very old music playing during his chat up calls!

The Delivery guy: The delivery guy will always be coming to your house or business to deliver something you definitely do not want!! He adds urgency and demands compliance from his victims and tries every emotional trick in the book to get them to allow the delivery. In one call he tries to deliver a whole load of camping and party supplies to a farmer because it was ordered by new age travellers who are arriving to stay on his land that very night!! The farmer gets so worried that the delivery guy has to stop him contacting the police!

More Characters will be added to BAZzZMANS portfolio of split personalities so be sure to watch out for "Telephonic Mayhem 2".

samples: http://www.jumbojam.co.uk/mp3/horseflap.mp3


Telephonic Mayhem is currently available from the Jumbojam website